Our ‘Veiled Birth’ and Bucket & Spade Wedding
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Woody and Irenka going ashore on one of the San Blas Islands of Panama
“All God does is watch us a kill us when we are boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
Irenka and I crossed paths in 2005 while working as flotilla skippers in the Mediterranean. Coincidently it was two years after we had both quit our ‘normal’ lives back in the UK. In the interim period we had come up through the leisure yachting industry working on delivery boats, scientific research vessels, training yachts, racing yachts and sometimes just scrubbing decks for people.
We now worked for holiday charter companies in Greece and Croatia, teaching holidaymakers to sail then taking flotillas of fledgling yachties around the islands. The pay was meagre, but the perks included restaurant meals, accommodation, and even beer, making it an easy-going and carefree life.
Both of us had rented out our homes in the UK to cover the mortgage payments, and although technically skint, we had no money worries.
Sitting on a Croatian beach, watching the sun dip below the horizon, we dreamt of leaving even this idyllic life behind and setting sail around world. Our dream seemed almost in reach until a pregnancy test confirmed life was about to hit a very real and metaphorical bump!
Brighton, known as the San Francisco of the UK, has an air that gives its inhabitants a somewhat 'alternative' outlook on life. We moved back and settled there and although not particularly superstitious, we took the placenta of our newborn- Rowan - out to sea, gifting it to Poseidon, god of the sea, with a drop of rum and our hopes for the future. It was a gesture of commitment to our dream of one day sailing the world.
Dreamers can be obstinate people, and although we settled back into ‘normality’, the dream simmered below the surface. It saw us through difficult times in our relationship, providing focus and financial discipline during the chaos of family life, renovating houses, and embarking on business startups with varying degrees of success and failure.. and having more kids!
Irenka working for the RNLI Rescue Service in the UK. She was also the first female lifeguard Coxwain in Brighton
Despite our busy lives, we kept our heads in the clouds and our feet in the sea. We opened an RYA sail and powerboat training centre and Irenka crewed for the RNLI. She also become the first female beach lifeguard coxswain in Brighton. We won several small business and tourism awards but then, in the 2009 we lost it all in the financial crisis, setting us back to square one.
Once we’d picked ourselves up we opened a furniture-making workshop and began renovating properties, renting out rooms, and embraced the gig economy - Air BnB, Open Rent, Ebay and Etsy. Then my mother passed away at the relatively young age of 64, never getting to meet her final grandchild or witness our wedding.
The death of a loved one and having a third child rarely puts a spring in anyone's step, but our new arrival - Yewan - was born ‘en caul’ , with the birth sack still covering his head. It’s sometimes referred to as a ‘veiled birth’ and estimated to happen to 1 in every 80,000 children. In medieval times, it was believed these rare and lucky children would be protected from death by drowning. Sailors highly prized these cauls or ‘veils’, paying high prices for them and taking them to sea as talismans for protection.
It felt life was reminding us of our commitment and promise to the sea; telling us that being blessed with our third and final child wasn't a reason to become complacent but to finally start filling the opening chapters of our family life with wonder and adventure.
Woody, Irenka and the kids on their wedding day standing outside the Bucket and Spade Cafe in Brighton
Our wedding was an extremely low key affair with only two witnesses.. and their kids, meaning we had more kids than adults at our wedding. We borrowed everything from the dress to the rings and had our ‘reception’ in the Bucket and Spade Cafe on Brighton sea front in the middle of winter. But the sun came out and we had a wonderful day under a cloudless blue sky. On average, weddings in the UK cost between £30,000 to £35,000. Ours cost £200. So the way we figured it - we’d just saved between £29,8000 - £34,800 for a boat!
We were a different unit now, no longer individuals or even a couple with kids, but a family. There would never be a right time, enough money or the right circumstances.
The time was now.
This Week’s Suggestions
Each week we’ll also be offering three little suggestion to nudge you along your journey. We know having family means you have a busy life, so we’ve kept them sweet, simple and easily actionable.
Create a dream destination list with your partner and kids. Encourage them to think beyond the typical tourist spots and include places that hold personal significance.
Create a family bucket list of activities and experiences you want to have together during your journey. This could include trying new food, learning a local dance, or exploring natural wonders.
Try a monthly adventure challenge to complete in your home city before the big trip. It could be something like hiking a local trail, attending a cultural event, or trying a new outdoor activity together.
That’s it for this week, next week we’ll be asking the question, ‘What does it mean to be free?’
See you next time!
“All God does is watch us..”
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